Just when you think you got all the online dating' terms covered, a new name gets on the list. "Benching" is the act of keeping someone on the side for times you feel lonely, and no one else is available. The main difference between "benching" and "ghosting" is that you keep in touch but with a long-time lag, rather than leaving that person for good. Of course, being benched is never a nice feeling, which could be tricky.
Hence, we discuss in this article techniques on how to handle benching in online hookup websites. Here you can find the best bumble hookup sites.
For a lot of guys who are getting "back in the saddle", these sort of things can be pretty confusing. Dating is certainly different than it was when we were younger but it's still a game. So, like any game - if you want to win, you need to know the rules!
Take The Hints
Have you received flirty messages from someone who has not talked to you a while ago? Or maybe after having a friendly chat, they stopped replying to your text for weeks and then came back saying that they were busy? Do not make a fool out of yourself because when someone is talking to you at their convenience, creating a hot and cold relationship, they are benching you. Admit the truth and find your way out of this humiliating situation.
Give Them The Cold Shoulder
The goal of benchers is to find a companion whenever they are out of options, demanding a one-night stand. People bench those who are easily involved and available, so if you show that you're interested in them, they will trick you into thinking they're into you too, but all they want is to find attention after they're gone.
The simplest thing to do is to ignore them and not participate in their conversation, which will give them a clarification that you are not a means for their amusement.
Call Them Out
Sometimes, honestly is the best policy, so be straightforward with them and expose their intentions. Tell them that you are aware of their benching and will not accept to be a second choice for anyone, making them think twice before sending you a text. You can share your thoughts with them and say: "I feel like you are benching me, and I do not like it," or be less aggressive and ask them: "where do you see this relationship is going? Because I would pretty much like to set a statue". Only then will you be able to confront them and ask them to stop benching you.
Do Not Concede
Well, there may come a time when you feel lonely and come across a message from a bencher. At first, it sounds fun to engage in a chat with them for the sake of joy, but remember that once you give the green light means, they will have the courage to text you again and take you for granted. Moreover, playing along could be dangerous because you already know that you like them, considering that they are your match, so there will be a reasonable chance to be charmed and get attached to them.
Preserve Your Self-respect
Chatting or hanging out with the bencher is not always bad, contrariwise, it is possible to have a good time together, but the evil effects appear after, as they start ignoring your messages, making you lose your self-confidence little by little because you were unable to leave an impression, while the real problem is that the bencher did not ever think of you as more than a spare option. So, do not let being benched prevent you from looking for a healthy casual relationship with another person, where you are more appreciated.
A Taste Of Their Own Medicine
Turn the table around and let the joke be on them, as they deserve to get benched back. Mimic their behaviors by taking an interest in them for a few days and having a great time together, then ditch them for a couple of weeks. This should be enough to teach them a lesson and quit benching people, as they feel how it can impact others' lives.
Find A Partner
Do not allow your bencher to stop you from finding the right casual partner, keep the hookup wheel moving and find a casual relationship with someone who makes you their top priority.
Nowadays, people use benching to escape loneliness, where they secure several substitutes to meet their sexual needs. It is considered an insulting idea. If you are benching, apologize and try to find some kind of a hobby instead. If you are being benched, take control over the situation and cut ties with them if possible.