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bidet buying guide

Pooping and toilet culture in general isn't something normally talked about with men but over the past few years I've noticed that aside from "potty humor" jokes ... whenever I'm on a press trip where the hotel rooms feature a bidet - guys talk about it. Until this year though, I didn't realize exactly how affordable and easy to install they could be though - and now I have two different models that I've installed at home and have even gone as far as adding an outlet to our new studio bathroom - just to avoid having to use an extension cord to plug it into an outlet by the sink. 

While these two different models offer slightly different experiences, suffice to say - I'm hooked ... and so is my wife and more importantly, the model we've installed at Jim's house is helping my Father-in-law keep clean easier so that he can stay healthy, comfortable, and avoid infections!

There Are Three Types Of Bidets That You May See

In the United States, bidets are rare in any but the most elite international luxury hotels. However, you might see one of three different types of models:

Bidet Toilets - these are built in single piece toilets by high-end manufacturers like Toto that are works of art and engineering and are priced accordingly - often into the thousands of dollars.

Bidet Attachments - I'm honestly not sure how these operate without making a mess and so I've never used them but essentially they often look like the sprayer nozzle on your kitchen sink - but attached to your toilet instead. These often are paired with a seperate wash basin specifically designed for washing. Anyone who's ever seen Crocodile Dundee knows what that looks like.

Bidet "Washlet" Toilet Seats - these are the one's we're talking about today and are probably one of the fastest growing segments of the bathroom space even if it's less talked about now than it was during the great Toilet Paper crisis of just a few years ago. These are "compact" toilet seats that have integrated sprayers, dryers, and typically a wall-mounted remote that for a price ranging from $250-$700 delivers what was previously only a dream that the lucky few of us experienced at marquee places like Vegas Sky Villas and French Chateaux.

Bidets Are No Longer An Unattainable Bathroom Luxury

You might find it interesting that bidets, previously seen as an extravagant bathroom accessory, have become more attainable and cost-effective. This luxury bathroom feature, once a symbol of European elegance, is now accessible to the typical buyer. The current market is filled with a range of affordable bidets, each designed with distinctive features to meet your specific preferences. 

Setting up a bidet toilet seat can be a simple process if you have even basic mechanical ability, especially with the abundance of online guides and video tutorials. Many bidets include an easy-to-follow DIY installation kit, containing step-by-step instructions and all the necessary components. This means even individuals with limited technical abilities can handle the installation, making the entire process pocket-friendly. In fact, my first install took about 90 minutes and the second time took less than an hour. In each case, there were some hiccups that you need consider such as needing some plumbers tape to improve the seal on the hose connectors and in the case of my first adventure - the old seat had been connected for so long that corrosion made it challenging to take things off without breaking something.

When you consider the advantages of having a bidet in your bathroom space: improved cleanliness, lessened toilet paper usage, and the unrivaled comfort of a high-end bathroom experience, this should be an easy decision to take your toilet to the next level. However, it can be more complicated that you might initially expect. As you look into it, you'll come across a variety of choices, from basic units to top-tier models with heating and drying capabilities. The selection rests with you. Be confident, putting money into a bidet is a move you'll appreciate, as it's a stride towards a better lifestyle and a touch of luxury in your bathroom.

Let's take a look at one example that was sent to us for review ... the SmartBidet SB-3000.

remote for smart bidet

SmartBidet SB-3000 Electric Bidet Toilet Seat

Let's proceed with the details of the SmartBidet SB-3000 Electric Bidet Toilet Seat. This high-grade model is set to transform your washroom routine. The device, which can support a maximum weight of 330 lbs, comes with a lengthy 3'10' power cord. The seat is a substantial 1.3' thick, promising optimal comfort during use.

The SmartBidet operates on a 120V / 60Hz / 1400W power source. It uses 11.7 amps to ensure a flawless operation. Its dimensions are 15.4' x 20.9' x 6.3', making it compatible with most standard toilets. Take note of the seat hole dimensions, which are 7.9' x 11.5'. This bidet is quite light, weighing in at 10.3 lbs, and is only available in a classic white color.

Priced at approximately $599 MSRP (significantly lower on Amazon right now). It offers a great value with tons of features, comfortable to sit on, and quick to install (as well as disassemble when it's time to move).

Product Specs:

  • Weight Capacity: 330 lbs
  • Power Cord Length: 3'10'
  • Seat Thickness: 1.3'
  • Power Source: 120V / 60Hz / 1400W
  • Dimensions: 15.4' x 20.9' x 6.3'
  • Amps: 11.7
  • Seat Hole Dimensions: 7.9' x 11.5'
  • Product Weight: 10.3 lbs
  • Color: White


  • High weight capacity
  • Long power cord
  • Comfortable seat thickness
  • Suitable dimensions for most toilets


  • Only available in white
  • Plastic advises to only clean it with non-harsh detergents "We recommend that you clean it with baking soda mixed with water or vinegar mixed with water. For models made out of ABS: Do not use household chemicals as this may deteriorate the plastic. "
  • A bit heavier than other models.

manual side controls and night light

After using this model for a couple months, I can heartily endorse it as a great option for most people. For myself and for our family though, it was missing a few important elements. This ultimately led us to move the seat from our Toledo property to the Michigan studio. This can be a challenge since down-there-clean is subjective from person to person and unfortunately once you use your new bidet - it is essentially un-returnable unless something breaks. Check the specific manufacturer and retailer websites though to verify things things can change.

In our case it came down to one big issue - while Smart Bidet supports weights up to 330 pounds, the spray and dryer weren't similarly "plus sized". The other unit we bought instead though, has what is "lovingly" referred to as an "Enema Mode" online and all three of us have experienced the benefits of when you think you're done and then the high-power spray hit "just right" and you discover there's more to come out. Along with that, the dryer too seems better at pushing past bigger butt cheeks and drying what needs to be dried.

I want to reiterate here though, in a family situation where you have smaller individuals with less meaty asses, SB-2000 would be a great addition. That's why you need read reviews and do plenty of research before making your decision on what bidet washlet you're going to buy!

What You Need To Know When Picking The Right Bidet For Your Butt

When choosing the right bidet for your posterior, honesty about your weight is essential, and you should not avoid acknowledging the actual size and shape of your buttocks. Assess if a powerful air dryer makes you comfortable or if a simple pat dry with toilet paper meets your needs. Many people actually prefer to feeling of bidet towels and since any fecal mater should already be cleaned off, this is just for drying - so that makes it easy to wash without adding extra odor to the bathroom. 

Consider Your Weight - This is Not The Time To Fudge The Numbers

Don't overlook the significance of your weight while choosing the ideal bidet for your requirements. Weight capacity, considerations for durability, and weight-based alterations are key factors to think about.

  • Weight Capacity: Each bidet comes with a specific weight limit. It's important to be aware of this before you buy, to avoid a bidet that can't adequately support you. While this is true for typical toilet seats - cracking a cheap $20 item is a whole lot less heartbreaking than rendering your $500 fancy butt washer useless because you sat down too hard!
  • Considerations for Durability: A bidet needs to be robust and strong, especially for those with a heavier build. A sturdy design promotes longevity.
  • Weight-based Alterations: Some of the more advanced models provide settings adjusted to weight for optimal comfort and practicality.
  • Quality of Material: The quality of the materials used in the bidet's construction are vital in determining its weight capacity and durability.
  • Needs for Installation: More robust individuals might require a stronger installation to ensure stability and safety.

Keep in mind, the goal is to find what suits you best. Always prioritize your comfort and safety.

Size and Shape Of Your Buttocks

Even though it might feel strange to think about, the size and shape of your buttocks hold a vital place when it comes to determining the optimal bidet for the best comfort and utility. The 'Buttock Comfort' of a bidet is of great importance and relies on a suitable fit.

Most men have never thought about the placement of their anus and the spread of their cheeks while on the toilet but fundamentally what you need to look for here is that bigger guys will need a more powerful spray. Us big dogs will also benefit from oscillating or wide spray modes. We will also need to be able to feel comfortable scootching around so that the spray can reach where it needs to go to get us fresh and clean downtown.

A bidet that is too small might not offer sufficient coverage, and a large one could prove to be uncomfortable. 'Hygiene Considerations' are also connected here, as the right size will ensure complete cleanliness. For 'Aesthetic Preferences', a bidet should maintain a balance between comfort and stylish design.

Measure carefully, taking into account both width and depth. A few inches can vastly alter your bidet experience. Bear in mind, it's not just about sanitation, it's about becoming a part of the bidet community confidently.

Do You Need A Powerful Air Dryer Or Is Using TP To Pat Dry Ok?

When picking the suitable bidet, it's important to think about whether a powerful air dryer is required or if simply patting dry with toilet paper meets your needs. Various factors can shape this choice:

  • Dryer efficiency: Superior quality bidets often include effective dryers, rendering toilet paper unnecessary.
  • Hygiene benefits: Air drying might offer superior hygiene, lowering bacterial spread chances.
  • Environmental impact: Opting for an air dryer cuts down on toilet paper usage, which is a greener choice.
  • Comfort: Air drying can feel more pleasant and less harsh than employing toilet paper.
  • Cost: Bidets equipped with potent dryers can carry a higher price tag than more basic versions.

One word of caution that makes most men I speak with laugh initially is that if you have a bidet with a heated drying mode - use it moderately. Hot air blowing directly on a sensitive area like your exposed anal area can be quiet painful if it beings to "burn". On a recent press trip, I mentioned that after a few drinks following dinner and the guys around me laughed profusely ... the next morning one of them sheepishly admitted that I was right and that he should have listened to my advice.

Air drying mode is a wonderful feeling that is relaxing while the toilet does it's job but it can also lead to problems if you were to fall asleep on it or ignore the timing. Thankfully, most premium bidet toilet seats today have a timer that will shut it off after a few minutes so that you can avoid this unpleasantness! 

Do You Have Issues With Things Touching Your Butt?

If objects touching your posterior region cause you discomfort, the selection of a suitable bidet becomes a significant choice. Most women I speak with don't have this issue but too many men still have but issues and the first time that jet of warm water hits your bunghole ... OH BOY is that a weird feeling!

It's important to consider your individual comfort, hygiene habits, and sensitivity to touch. Opt for a bidet that allows you to adjust the water pressure and temperature. Such a feature enables you to tailor the wash as per your preferences, thereby reducing any unease. Bidets that feature self-cleaning nozzles can be considered to meet your hygiene standards. To reduce tactile contact, you might want to look at bidets with an air-dry function. For those with touch sensitivity, a bidet offering a gentle spray could be the perfect solution. Keep in mind, the ideal bidet should match your comfort and hygiene specifications, hence making your restroom routine an enjoyable process.

Always Check The Size And Shape Of Your Toilet As Well As Available Outlets

Before you decide to buy a bidet, it's important to take into account the size and shape of your toilet, as well as the presence of nearby power outlets. The compatibility of the toilet and the accessibility of the outlet significantly influence bidet installation. While most bidet toilet seat "washlets" are designed to be self installed - I frankly think that it is worth hiring a handyman or electrician to help by adding an easy to reach power outlet close to the toilet.

Here are five things you should examine:

  • Take the dimensions of your toilet, such as length, width, and height. This can be a determining factor for the compatibility of the bidet.
  • Recognize the shape of your toilet: Is it round or elongated?
  • Look for power outlets around the area. Many bidets need electricity for their functions.
  • Think about the gap between the toilet and the outlet. Is it manageable?
  • Evaluate if you need extra fixtures for installation.

Benefits Of Bidet Ownership For Those With Mobility Issues

Finally, I'm going to come back to why I started this journey to bidet ownership in the first place.

For Heather and I, having a bidet was merely a comfort issue - something we're now hooked on and quickly becoming obnoxious bidet evangelists to our friends and family members (sorry!). However, for her dad Jim who has mobility issues, having a bidet is litteraly a life saver that has helped him clean himself easier - thereby reducing UTI risk and at very least, fewer skid marks to clean out :)

Bidets provide a hands-free way of maintaining personal hygiene, reducing the physical exertion commonly tied to toileting. There's no more need for twisting, bending, or stretching in uncomfortable ways, which can be incredibly beneficial if you're experiencing arthritis, back pain, or other mobility-related issues.

The ease of cleaning a bidet is another appealing advantage. Most versions feature self-cleaning nozzles, significantly reducing the time and energy you'd normally dedicate to maintaining a traditional toilet. This aspect can be particularly useful if your strength or dexterity is limited.

The enhanced comfort bidets can offer is also worth mentioning. Several models feature adjustable water temperatures and pressures, giving you the ability to customize your experience. Some even come with heated seats, providing soothing relief for aching muscles.

All things considered, owning a bidet can greatly enhance your quality of life if you're dealing with mobility issues. It can assist you in maintaining your independence, hygiene, and comfort, while also saving you cleaning time.


Choosing to purchase a bidet, specifically the SmartBidet SB-3000, is not just a luxury, but a functional decision. It's important to take into account your personal requirements when selecting the perfect model. Not to forget, bidets can provide significant benefits for individuals with mobility difficulties. Even though the presence of bidets in America might not be widespread, their popularity is undoubtedly on the rise. So, don't hesitate, make the intelligent, clean, and convenient choice for your bathroom - your derriere will be grateful.