Relationships are tricky and sometimes things don't work out. It might be "her fault" or yours, but if you think it's worth having another go at it then here are some tips to make it happen. Winning your girlfriend back or recovering from a marriage separation isn't easy and it will ultimately take time, but here's some tips to start the process.
These steps to fixing your relationship and winning your wife or girlfriend back aren't going to be easy. So, before you even start - ask yourself if it's worth it. You probably broke up for a reason and as much as a separation can be painful, sometimes it's for the best. If you are just missing sex or a warm body in bed next to you then you can always replace that with a new partner. However, if there's something more that you can't find with someone else then you should always make the effort.
Be a Man and Own up to Your Mistakes!
No matter "who's fault" you might think it is, the reality is that it takes two to tango. You probably did stuff that pissed her off too. The first step is to recognize what you did and fix it. This could be that you didn't want to hang out with her friends, or that you guys only went out to the restaurants you liked. It could even be more simplistic than that. It really doesn't matter though. If you think she's worth it then you gotta fix it.
Find a Way to Reconnect Without Looking Creepy
For some people, texting might be just fine but for others it might be insincere. Only you will know the situation. If texting is an option, drop her a note and say you are thinking of her. If things go well, you should take things a step further by calling her. Don't wait too long before establishing a more personal level of communication. That might include meeting up for coffee in person or it might be a phone call. During the phone call, you should not cry or beg, as this will make you look desperate and nobody wants to date a needy person.
You should pick a public place where things will be civil and not feel like romance is forced on your first meeting. For instance, pick a coffee shop or meet in a park where there are other people. This gives you both the opportunity to leave quickly and also a environment where it will be more difficult to make a scene should things go wrong. Hopefully things will go well though and you will be a step closer to getting your ex back permanently.
Let Her Know That You Miss Her
If she agrees to go on a date with you, you need to take this opportunity to win her over once again. Ask her how she is doing and make her the focus of your conversation instead of making small talk. If she seems to be warming up to you, tell her that you miss her and want her back.
If you want her to believe you, you should be genuine and vulnerable. Just open your heart and tell her how you feel, but do not bring up the things that made your relationship end.
Do Not Rehash the Past
During your series of conversations following your apologies and sharing what you can do to fix your shortcomings, it's time to look ahead and focus on the future. Going down the path of past mistakes and playing the blame game never works except to acknowledge the challenges you face a couple. You need to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship such as your sense of humor or her ability to calm you down when you are feeling stressed.
If you really want your ex back, you have to commit to changing some aspects of yourself that she did not like. You cannot expect her to take you back if you are not willing to change. You also need to start being more attentive to her needs.
Remember To Take Things Slow With Physical Intimacy!
Although you have romanced your ex in the past, it does not mean that you should jump straight into the deep end the second time. Make sure that you keep your conversations friendly and do not push her. If you are too pushy about getting back together, this might be a red flag to her and it might push her away. The goal with winning her back is to win her heart and mind. Sex will follow if you do things right. Both of you may be tempted to rush things though, but the goal here is to recover your relationship - not just a Friends With Benefits.
If you take it slow and pay attention to her cues then you'll have your ex back in no time.