I've always dreamed of having an Italian sports car in my driveway but honestly ... as a bigger guy, the likelihood of ever being able to justify spending six figures on a sexy, quirky, Italian sports car is beyond me. Thankfully in recent years we've started to see some cool crossovers and SUV-like products from Italian brands but just like how vehicles like BMW's x5 or x3 still feel like "sporty SUVs" ... nothing quite feels like you're actually driving a sports car. Then I tried the Alfa Romeo Stelvio for a week and it was a surprisingly fun experience ... one I jokingly started referring to as a fat guy's best choice for an Italian sports car.
To be fair, like a lot of things made in Italy - this is more about style and penache and the way it makes you feel than it is ultimately about substance. That's ok. Cars need to connect with people emotionally to be exciting and what is ultimately a fairly dated vehicle with anarchistic features (for Americans anyhow) - like an actual cigar lighter, ended up being a driving experience that I truly enjoyed.
That isn't to say that I wasn't frustrated by its terrible entertainment screen interface and that I didn't wish it had a bit more power for a trim level (Competizione) that sounded like it was ready to enter an autocross. However, it was fast enough, flashy enough, and comfortable enough to be fun to drive.
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It also was affordable enough that a guy who's always dreamed of having an Italian sports car could finally have one in his driveway.
Frankly, even the brand evokes the impression that this is far more expensive than it actually is and ultimately since few Americans see Alfa Romeo's on the street ... it also has a sense of exclusivity that goes beyond it's moderate ~$60,000 price tag.
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Powered by a 2.0L 280 hp engine mated to an 8-speed transmission, it gets a 5.5-second 0-60 time with AWD and the Quadrifoglio's active suspension. We're not breaking any land speed records here, but that's not really the point. If you want raw power, the Quadrifoglio is available with 505 hp, offers a 0-60 time of 3.3 seconds, and comes with a price tag of around $100,000.
On the other hand, if you are driving around some back roads and having some fun, then you're not really going to be able to unleash that much power safely anyhow. In that scenario, the more moderately powered Competizione feels great and is fun to drive around corners.
It also feels great to the touch with beautiful accents like the red stitching, the Alfa Romeo badging, and the Italian flag featured on the gear shift. All of these things help transform this car from just another compact SUV and instead deliver a lifestyle experience that is akin to putting on a pair of designer jeans or a shirt with a fancy label. Is it better than a store brand? Maybe not ... but it makes you feel good and that's sometimes all you need.
Ultimately there isn't much more to be said.
The man who buys a Stelvio Competizione is doing so because of an emotional connection more so than for practical purposes. Whether that means he wants something that he can feel great in while stuck in traffic and attract the eye of co-workers and prospective clients when he pulls into the parking lot, or to blow off some steam driving the long way home ... I kinda like this vehicle.
I suspect other guys will, too, even if some of the other reviewers don't share my emotional connection to it.
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