The Right Way to Introduce Sex Toys to Your Partner
Even the best relationships can take a turn for the worse if the sexual flame between partners isn’t kept alive and well. However, that can be an extremely difficult task for some couples, especially those engaged in a long-term or long-distance union. Being able to maintain your lustful emotions for one another can start to feel like a chore after a while. And when you can’t physically touch your partner or you can’t find a way to sexually please them on a consistent basis, an otherwise solid foundation can start to crumble.
It doesn’t matter who you are or where you come from either, because sustaining the passion in a relationship is tough for everybody. To complicate matters even more, many couples haven’t been properly educated about their erotica options and get most of their inspiration and information from TV or movies. Between ridiculous social taboos, unwarranted stigmas, and unfair expectations, too many modern-day people live stale, unsatisfying lives that are almost completely void of true, robust sexual gratification.
Our world’s general lack of adequate sex might explain a lot of things, but it probably won’t account for how our society ignores the blatant benefits of frequent orgasm. Remember, a full climax can do the following 10 things for your health, if not more:
- Relieves stress
- Improve and balance sleep cycles
- Boost the body’s immunities
- Enhance the health of a fetus during pregnancy
- Reduce the symptoms of anxiety and depression
- Strengthen the musculoskeletal system
- Alleviate minor pain such as upset stomach and headaches
- Decrease the risk of heart disease
- Burn fat to lose weight
- Lower the risk of developing certain types of cancer
In some cases, orgasm can do things like increase a person’s appetite, improve their general disposition or create lasting emotional bonds between two or more partners. In short, everyone needs to experience an orgasm on a regular basis, even if it’s not because a partner gave it to them. In fact, manual stimulation is quickly becoming the norm.
A lack of truly satisfying sexual experiences can lead to a weakened immune system, declining cognitive functions, muscle atrophy and even performance problems. Interestingly, many doctors suggest that men ejaculate at least 21 times per month to reduce their risk of prostate cancer and erectile dysfunction. Meanwhile, female ejaculation is still being studied because, back in the day, women had to retrieve their orgasms through a prescription from a physician for a curious contraption designed to treat things like hysteria and insomnia. However, according to the International Society for Sexual Medicine, only about 10-50% of women ejaculate and the theory is that those low numbers are due to inadequate sex lives, not physical malfunction.
Whether those inadequacies are due to the technique used (or unused) is still unclear as well, but one thing is for certain: Everyone deserves better. By broadening our horizons, lifting our limits, and educating ourselves on what the world is doing for couples these days, we might be able to salvage what’s left of our stalled-out relationships before it’s too late. One method, which has been favored by partners around the world for centuries, is the inclusion of high-grade sex toys.
What Is a Sex Toy?
The definition of a sex toy is somewhat subjective to the person using it. However, according to most modern-day dictionaries, these products are defined as any object or device that can be used for sexual stimulation or enhancement. That description is somewhat vague though, leaving many people to wonder why the hollowed-out vegetables and moistened animal skins of yesteryear no longer suffice. Truth be told, today’s sex toys (which are sometimes referred to as “marital aids” or “pleasure products”) are much more sophisticated than they have ever been before.
Not only has the industry expanded tremendously over the last few decades but the technologies utilized in the development of sex toys have revolutionized the way we think, feel and act when it comes to sex and/or masturbation. Once stigmatized by society, self-gratification and kinky couple’s play are no longer viewed as a taboo activities. In fact, the best contemporary sex toy manufacturers make it a point to create interactive, compatible devices strictly for the purposes of enhancing foreplay and intercourse between partners.
As a result, sex toys now come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes, with curious functionalities and user-friendly features for almost every kink or fetish known to mankind. Armed with the knowledge that sexual exploration is healthy and beneficial, innovative manufacturers constantly create (and recreate) their products to assimilate the latest technologies and scientific discoveries into them. Therefore, a sex toy has become so much more than simply an object used for pleasure; it’s a tool to improve your wellbeing both in and out of the bedroom.
Today’s Most Popular Marital Aids
With so much variety on today’s marital aid market, a newcomer can get confused quickly about the differences between toy types. While each type has its own unique assortment of features, the main purpose is always the same. Here are today’s 5 most popular sex toys and a brief description of each:
- Anal Beads
Used primarily for direct p-spot stimulation, anal beads are typically defined as being a long string of connected bulbs (or egg-shaped balls) that are held together to form a single, flexible structure that gets inserted into the anus before being gently pulled out to create an intensely pleasurable sensation. Penetration and expulsion can be performed at customizable speeds. Furthermore, strings can be tailored to suit the user’s body type or sexual appetites, and most models come with undulating bead sizes for more personalized pleasure.
Favored for their ability to simulate the sensations of real intercourse (whether vaginal or anal), dildos are generally defined as penis-shaped sex toys that get inserted into the user’s body at various speeds and intervals for the purpose of generating a manual, internal orgasm. Commonly called “dongs,” dildos are often fit for fantasy because they come in several sizes and don’t always resemble the shape or dimensions of a real human penis. The materials with which these toys are made vary widely as well, as do the features put on them by their manufacturers.
- Male Masturbators
Created exclusively for men but also appropriate for enjoyment by onlooking and/or participating females, male masturbators are defined as either handheld or automatic pleasure devices that get placed over the shaft or frenulum of the penis. These toys must then be manipulated or activated to produce sensations that are as similar as possible to real intercourse or oral sex through a steady up and down pumping motion. Today’s best equipped versions even come with features that make them real-time compatible with another sex toy via Bluetooth or virtual reality.
- Prostate Massagers
Designed for both men and women (but most commonly used by men), prostate massagers are keenly shaped sex toys that are packed with pleasurable features and body-conscious ergonomics. They’re usually crafted to pinpoint the p-spot of the user and create a mind-blowing orgasmic reaction while also stimulating external erogenous zones like the balls, perineum or, in the case of a female user, the clitoris. These specialized pleasure products are also available in numerous shapes and sizes according to the buyer’s wishes.
Somewhat newly developed and constantly improving in their overall design and functionality, modern-day vibrators are nothing like the ones our ancestors left as our inheritance. Featuring extremely powerful motors and utilizing technologies that make traditional vibes virtually obsolete, today’s vibrating sex toys are made to provide direct stimulation to the user’s body via touch alone. This feature makes penetration unnecessary and is sometimes preferred over the features of dildos (although often combined with them for a double dose of pleasure).
Keep in mind that the above is in no way an exhaustive list of your options. There are countless other types of sex toys available these days, but the devices mentioned above are the ones you’ll run across the most. Prepare yourselves for a mountain of kinkier products as well, including things like cock rings, sex furniture, lifelike love dolls, and even electrostimulation (e-stim) devices that send a gentle electric shock to the various nerve endings in you and/or your partner’s body.
Gender Wars: The Difference Between Toys for Girls and Boys
Once upon a time, the world thought that men were the only ones who masturbated and they treated them poorly because of it. In fact, the female orgasm is actually a relatively new discovery that was once steeped in myth and misinformation. Together, neither males nor females have ever gotten a fair shake on the truths of their sexuality. Thus, there’s a gender war that’s been raging between the sexes and it won’t stop until the smoke is cleared.
Although every marital aid is created to generate some type of pleasure, they’re not all made the same. Furthermore, the male sex toy industry is just now catching up with the female market because, quite frankly, the sexual revolution instigated a massive surge of lady-friendly pleasure products and the men were left holding on to a dream. Fortunately, things have finally started to level out but the differences still remain because the overall functionality must be conducive with the user’s wants and needs.
Here’s what you need to know about the sex toy gender war before it comes to your town:
The latest male sex toys possess features exclusive to pleasuring the male anatomy – penis stimulators, perineum massagers, prostate ticklers, etc. Many times, these devices also feature realistic visual components such as vaginal, oral, or anal orifices as well as specialized internal mechanisms that are designed to simulate a specific type of sexual activity.
Most female-centered sex toys possess features exclusive to pleasuring the female anatomy – vaginal stimulators, clitoral massagers, nipple ticklers, etc. Many times, these devices also feature realistic visual components such as raised veins and bulbous heads as well as specialized external mechanisms that are designed to simulate a specific type of sexual activity.
Most couples-centered sex toys possess features exclusive to group interaction – teledildonic technologies, motion sensors, virtual reality, etc. Many times, these devices also feature realistic visual components targeted at the gender of the user as well as specialized internal and/or external mechanisms that are designed to simulate a specific type of sexual activity whether in person or from a distance.
Both men and women have begun to embrace the healthy and erotic possibilities provided by a high-quality sex toy and the proper use thereof. Manufacturers are following suit too, with countless unisex/interchangeable devices zooming out of their production facilities at the speed of light. These days, it’s not only easy to find what you’re looking for but it’s also much easier to bring the topic up to your partner.
3 Steps for Convincing Your Partner to Start Using Sex Toys
Unfortunately, the blanket statement above doesn’t apply to every couple. Some people have quirky hang-ups when it comes to using man-made pleasure products in the bedroom. Others feel as though the inclusion of them is somehow indicative of their lack of skill. Neither of those mindsets will improve the relationship you’re in, so consider the facts instead.
Many times, hang-ups are due to misinformation or experiences with low-grade sex toys. Occasionally, inhibitions are the result of personal issues with self or sex. However, today’s best sex toy manufacturers try to alleviate the average user’s woes by including features that increase comfort and discretion. There are even a few sex toys out there that are made to look like common household objects instead of kinky self-pleasure devices. On top of that, a majority of them come with easy-to-follow instructions, friendly customer service, and are sent directly to the purchaser’s door in an unmarked box. In other words, you no longer have to traipse down to your local adult entertainment store to buy sex toys where the whole world can see.
Sex toys demonstrate just how unashamed we have become about our love of pleasure products. Meanwhile, women are starting to explore their own sexuality more fluidly with the help of high-end sex toys and erotica materials. JJ claims that the majority of products on today’s market are sold to specialized groups of sexually active people, such as those in long-term or long-distance relationships or those engaged in a BDSM arrangement. Seldom do sex toys get picked up by lonely singletons anymore. The sleek and sexy sophistication of today’s best marital aids is a far cry from what it once was, leading to more couple’s being open about using them in the bedroom.
To properly and effectively introduce your partner to the idea of spicing things up with marital aids, it’s important to discuss the parameters holding you and/or your partner back. Experiencing orgasm with an object may seem unnatural, but the results are as real as they can get and the statistics prove that. According to recent studies, the sex toy industry is now worth over $29 billion, with projections of even more growth in the near future. At this point, if your relationship doesn’t involve the use of sex toys, you’re probably not doing it right. Here are the first 3 steps to fixing that little problem (and the rest is up to you):
- Communicate Openly with Your Partner about Wants, Needs and Limits
It will be virtually impossible to find anything worthwhile if you don’t know what you should be looking for. You and your partner may share several interests, but you’re still two different people with unique wants, needs, and boundaries. Talk honestly about those things before seeking a sex toy of any kind. You might be surprised by what your partner has to say about the things they want to try.
- Research the Market to Familiarize Yourself with the Possibilities
Knowing what you should be looking for hinges upon your knowledge of the market. If you don’t know what’s available, how will you ever track down the ideal pleasure product? As a general rule, most buyer’s guides tell consumers to find out at least three crucial facts before spending their money on a sex toy: 1) the product’s intended purpose, 2) the materials with which it’s made, and 3) it’s compatibility with other devices. Some toys can only be used by one person at a time, while others are designed specifically for couple’s play.
- Seek Products from Reputable Sources Only
Buying the first pleasure product you see because it has the features and functionality that you’re desiring is not a very good idea. Even similar devices can have drastic differences in quality. Choose wisely by purchasing only the sex toys that come highly recommended by experts and consumers who have tried them already, and always order your devices and accessories from merchants who have direct affiliations with the manufacturer or possess some sort of industry prestige. Many times, frugal shopping can lead to incredible savings, special discounts, and even warranties from the maker (further convincing your partner to give it a whirl without risk).
- Written by James Hills
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